Ramadan you strange and beautiful, at times cruel, at times merciful thing.
When I was younger and Ramadan was somewhat easier (primarily because the rozas were shorter and I was in Pakistan), I used to love the two parts iftaar divided the day into one. Pre-iftari was a state of zombie-like existence, barely making it through the day, praying with whatever little energy you had and just counting down the minutes to iftari. As iftari approached, maybe about an hour before it you’d start watching tv or something to pass the time – this normally consisted of terrible iftar transmissions and wonferful food shows. With each minute feeling like an hour, you’d finally sit on the table and then BOOM, a party every night! The freedom to eat feels like a miracle even on the 30th roza. Suddenly everything feels festive and like a celebration. You eat food, you watch tv and with all the prayers for the day done (minus Ishaa, which you have aaall night to do) you relax knowing that you’ve done your bit. And my favourite part, I’d go online and start talking to all my friends who were in the same happy state of mind, allll the way up to Sehri.
Now, the happiness is still the same even now but pre-iftaar has gotten pretty bad. Of course the fasts are much much longer here anyway, but I’ve also started getting these splitting headaches when I fast now. I actually had to go to the A&E last year for a severrree headache I couldn’t get rid of even after iftaar. The struggle is too hard for me to really enjoy Ramadan anymore and I hate that. I hate that I start dreading it sometime in March, but.. I’ve decided to be a little relaxed this year. I had a splitting headache today, so I’m going to skip tomorrow, guilty as I feel about it. I couldn’t even pray Asr today, so what’s the point of fasting if it’ll just paralyse you to your bed?
With that said, I feel the magic right now. Everything just feels more relaxed after iftaar. Husband is watching tv like he was before sunset, so technically nothing has changed really but he’s drinking a cup of tea and browsing his phone, and well, just looks more alive. I’m sure the same goes for me.
All-in-all, no matter how much I dread Ramadan, I do end up loving it.. as long as you ask me after Iftaar and not before it. 🙂